lights out.

there was a hurricane that turned into a tropical storm. did you hear? her name was irene.

well, irene and i are not friends because she knocked out our power. i'm still getting my bearings and will be back to blogging on wednesday. i'm a little behind on posts!

for now, read this ad for an awesome roommate.

sailing the friend-ship

lately i’ve really been thinking a lot about what it means to be a friend. i don’t just mean someone you talk to every now and then who might know something about you, but a real true friend. the older i get, the more i realize how important these relationships are—the friendships i have.

being married means that i’m always around my very best friend. but being married also means that my other closest friends need to become a more focused priority for me. in highschool, that’s what it was all about—having friends and having fun. in college i learned that having adult friends is different, and can be something lifelong. i learned how to live with someone else, and how to keep up friendships when our lives are going in different directions.

now i find myself in that adult part of life when everyone has jobs, spouses (or significant others), and maybe even children. suddenly it’s not so easy to just go out for coffee, or go shopping. if i talk to my very closest childhood friend more than a few times a month i feel lucky. spending precious time with this friend one time during a month is a real treasure to me.

marriage is its own adjustment, and in that adjustment i’ve had to learn how to balance all the relationships in my life while keeping my most important relationship with my husband as the priority. there are times when i have been truly sad and longing for more time with my friends (especially in the first few months of marriage). now that nearly a year has passed, i find myself coming out of the newly-married caccoon and reaching out for more friendship connection. i long for connection with other young women—with my friends.

i often wonder how i can be a better friend, and short of bluntly asking my friends, i have spent time contemplating and wondering what it means to have an adult friendship as our lives get busier and busier. i don’t think things like facebook and twitter even remotely help build and maintain a friendship. sure, it’s good for keeping in touch with long-distance family but i often find i feel more negative feelings about facebook than positive ones. i don’t use it to keep in touch with friends and if anything i think it hinders our abilities to spend real time talking and spending time with our friends.  what does help friendships are the little things. friendship is not comprised of big moments, it’s those quick conversations, those secrets, the trust, the understanding. these little things are really the big things. this is how to be a better friend. it’s the quick notes to say hello, the quick “feel better!” note.

friendship is work, and needs focusing. we are going to need each other to understand our lives, to have a woman to talk to about jobs, having a husband, having a baby. i really love my friends, and as i contemplate these ways to be a better friend, i feel lucky to have such wonderful women in my life who are all good friends, and who really teach me about what it means to be a good friend in return.

happy.

{source}

i’ve honestly been having a really rough couple days. i’m just feeling as though nothing is working out the way i need or would like it to, and with one step forward i make two steps back. in an effort to remain focused and grounded, i’m listing off the things that have made me happy today.

• a husband who hugs me when i’m feeling discouraged.
• chocolate chip cookies.
• feta cheese on my salads.
• sewing something new in spite of 3 broken needles.
• my pandora station.
• ben not having to work until noon, meaning we got to sleep in and enjoy our morning together. normally we don’t even see each other until after work.
• the anticipation of a day off tomorrow with ben and a trip to boston.

thinking about the things i have to be thankful for and happy about really helps on days when i’m feeling less than happy and thankful.  

the stupid box.

friends, how much tv do you watch? do you feel like it’s too much? we don’t really watch that much tv (maybe 1 or 2 hours a night), but i noticed that slowly our time in front of the tv is increasing, and my satisfaction with my day is decreasing. i hate feeling like a blob on the couch that has done nothing useful that day.

i have tried persuading ben that we don’t need cable, that we’d be fine without it. i have lost that battle as hard as i have tried, but that doesn’t mean changes can’t be made.  i’ve suggested focused tv-watching. this means that we’ve picked out one thing to watch (or ben has picked something because generally it’s him watching and me half paying attention half on pinterest) and that’s it. we know what show we’re picking and when it’s over we’re done. no scrolling through to find something, we watch and we power off. i know i could simply cut cable and say “oh well, it’s gone!” but i want a happy husband and that means a compromise.

i've also thought of having a day where we're "unplugged". no computers, no tv, nothing. i think it would be really eye-opening for us, and provide a motivation to spend less time with the tv or our laptops. 

so, i’ve been trying to make more of an effort to have less tv time in order to have more productive time together with my husband, as well as apart from him so that i can paint, sew, draw, write, create. by sitting on my couch i’m missing so much of what life has to offer. there is so much going on especially in the summer, why sit inside or at least on the couch? we could be doing so much more. i want to learn new games, new crafts, and make our apartment feel more like home.  we’ll both be happier with more time to read, talk, listen, learn, and see.

consider this my reminder to myself to turn off the tv like my ballet teacher always said to. she hated tv and always called it the stupid-box or something like that. i need to remember her disdain for tv and use it as a reminder to do something more productive.

creating.

i have a need to create. do you?

when i think about my goals and dreams, what makes me happy, i have noticed they all have to do with creating something. whether it’s cooking, sewing, writing, painting, organizing (creating a clean space!) or even desiring to be a mom (creating life, how cool!), i am happiest when i am making something. i find great joy in starting from chaos, from a mess, or from nothing and using my inspiration to create something new and different.

as i’ve become more aware of this fact about myself i try to make sure that i am doing something each day that fills this hunger for creating so i am purposeful in my day. yesterday i sewed something and made dinner. today i am writing, will probably paint and will make dinner again.

i love being in the kitchen, throwing things together and having them work together in a way that creates a delicious meal. i did not make the foods, but i make a meal by allowing them to work together in harmony.  

i love taking my newly acquired sewing skill and putting myself to the test. i take fabric and turn it into something beautiful that i can feel proud of.

i always wanted to paint and with encouragement from my husband, i started. i take the visions in my mind and put them onto canvas. i will admit i’m not very good, but i am happy when i see my work, knowing i put forth the effort, and happy because i created. 

bonds.

{found here}

i have 2 little sisters. one is not so little, and well the other one doesn’t want to be called little but she will always be the baby.

i love when i get to spend time with them, rare as it is.

one lives several states away and i get so excited when she comes home for the summer. i so love any time we get to spend together (usually it’s shopping—her favorite). she has so much potential, so much going for her. i get to see her continue to flourish, to learn, to move into adulthood which can certainly be a painful process. we learn things we don’t want to, we see things we’d rather not, and we learn things about ourselves that we have to do something about. this sister of mine is going to knock our socks off someday, i just know it. i really cherish her.

the little one will always be my baby. she reminds me of what childhood is, and her innocence and joy is such a treasure. she reminds me of what it meant to be a kid and helps me not to take life so seriously. she has cute little phrases that make her sound so grown up, but full of childhood. she almost beats me at mini golf until she gets too distracted by the thought of ice cream to focus on her putts. she loves clothing with sparkles or hideous patterns that i wouldn’t dream of wearing. she’s precious, and is 8 going on 13. we’re all doomed.

i used to wish i had a brother, or brothers. but now, i’m glad i don’t. the bond between sisters is unlike any other and it cannot be understood but by those women who are lucky enough to have one.  i love being a big sister. i didn’t always love it, though. it’s hard having 2 younger ones who want what you have now, who try to be like you and it really turns into annoyance. it’s hard to have the burden of responsibility, to show them how to be a woman, how to have self respect, how to be a girl, how to grow. but i love this. i hope they see through my mistakes and realize that i love being their big sister.

i don’t get to see these precious girls very often, but any moment that i do lights up my day. i love them and i’d be lost without them. 

little women.

think about the last time you talked to a little girl. what was the first thing you asked her or commented on? i’m willing to bet it was about her appearance in some way. why do we do this?

i recently read another blogger’s post about this topic and it really got me thinking. now, when i encounter a girl or woman i am sure to ask or comment about something substantial rather than saying “oh cute skirt!” or “you look so pretty!”

check out this post (and the rest of her blog):

how to talk to girls

what i've been up to.

A little bit of this…

{made this skirt}

Making a little bit of that…

{chocolate chip banana bread with really bad white balance}

Doing a little bit of this…

{future throw quilt...will update when finished}

We’ve been busy. Well, I’ve been busy and that’s saying something because I don’t have a job right now. I keep saying “I’ll blog later” and then I continue on with my day and I forget to write a post. I swear I’ll get better.  I think I need some routine to help me out.

Not having a job means I have 10 hours a day to myself to watch really bad tv, get lost in Pinterest, and sometimes I clean things or bake as you saw above. I am starting a quilt. So far I've sewn together 8 out of 13 rows. I blame Pinterest. 

I have been reading a little, too and I really need to get better about that. I just wish our library didn’t have 52 holds on every single book on my list of books to read. Yes, I have a list. It’s quite long and will cost me a fortune if I have to buy every single one on my Nook. Do you hear that, local library? Help me out here.

***

My best friend was married on July 30 and it was a beautiful day. She is such a wonderful woman, and her man is so lucky to have her. We have been friends since we were 8 years old and I am so happy for both of them, and to have been a part of such a special and beautiful day.

My husband had the job of videoing and taking pictures, and unfortunately he took very few. But here are the two that I have.

All of us:

They are so in love.

the little things.

It's the little things.

The way we hold hands walking to the car, or in the grocery store, or at Ikea that makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Sometimes I think "Do you see him? He's the best man I know. I'm so lucky and I wish you knew him too."

When we stay up until we're past exhaustion building something together. Those dresser drawers may be a pain in the butt, but we're working together. We're laughing, making jokes and thinking about the best way to get things done.

The way we get to sit and eat dinner together.

When he walks to work so I can sleep just a little longer, even though I wake up when he says goodbye.

These moments and more are what make each day a blessing. Nothing big has to happen, nothing important. It's all about those little moments that make each day special somehow. Whether it's a smile from a stranger, a rainbow after a thunderstorm, a smile from a spouse, or a really good dinner, any small thing can make life special. Life is full of so much good, so much to enjoy and sometimes it really takes some effort to notice it.

****

I've been feeling a little "off" the past few days. I have trouble sleeping, and some things make me sad when I normally wouldn't be phased.

I have to make an effort to regain my balance, to feel right and me again. These little things center me and remind me what life is about: the good. There is so much good and so much to enjoy and when I remember this, when I focus on it and let it teach me, then I feel myself again.

***

I'll be back in a few days to talk about a beautiful wedding.