best friends.

"I don't want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting, or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat. I want to see you guys high five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun. I want to hear about it because I know it's possible, and because I want it for myself." 

- Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)

***

there are times when ben and i are laughing so hard our stomachs hurt, or sitting talking with each other, or cooking together that i remember "he is my best friend." 

whether i'm sitting and watching some ridiculous manly show on the discovery channel with him, or i'm making him watch a girlie movie, or we're shopping at target together, or eating dinner together, or taking a road trip, i know that we're really enjoying each other. 

it's important to enjoy each other in marriage. it's not about the heavy stuff, it's about being friends. 

yes, i love ben. a lot. but i also like him. 

i love being around him. we make each other laugh and do really embarrassing things together that create a stronger bond. 

take the photo for example. 

we were goofing around, taking tons of pictures. during this picture we didn't know what the other was doing. we know what the other finds funny, and so we did that. 

it's moments like those that make our marriage great. 

obviously we're only a little over a year into this lifelong journey, but i'm glad we have a large part of the battle understood. it's about having fun and liking the person you're married to. i'm lucky and thankful to have that.

not a typical friday night.

(here)

we finally did it. well, sort of.

my goal for a night unplugged finally happened, and rather organically.

i've been talking about how i want to get rid of cable if something doesn't change. having a husband who only wants to watch tv for fun officially wore me out on friday and i asked if we could go out for dinner and spend time without the tv on.

this was easy for me, hard for him. he kept rushing me through things. we were talking and he said "when are we playing scrabble?" he even asked if we could watch a movie afterwards. i love this man, but this need to always have a tv on is driving me crazy!

after hours of talking, silliness and 2 games of scrabble (1 regular and 1 speed round) i gave in and let him pick a movie.

this little experiment on friday really showed me that my husband needs to find other things to do besides stare at the television and i need to find ways to help him do that. it's easy for me, but hard for him (which is okay).

i'm determined to keep this experiment going. there is no more tv on unless there is something specific that wants to be watched. i know it probably seems like i harp on this on my blog but it's a real struggle around here, and i'm being honest.

i don't think we need a specific day where we aren't allowed to use the tv, laptops or phones, but some time every now and then is probably good for our brains and our relationship.

consider this my last post about the stupid television. more to come about simple and clean living, crafts and holidays!

laughter.

{here}

"all you need in the world is love and laughter. that's all anybody needs. to have love in one hand and laughter in the other." ~august wilson

getting it all done.

sometimes i fall into the trap of thinking i have to do it all.

somehow i'm supposed to come home after being with kids all day who don't know how to listen (literally, we have to teach them to pay attention to us--not their fault) and spend time cleaning and getting my husband to listen to me.

why do i feel like it's my job to make sure everything is "just so"? who said that as a wife i have to make sure everything is clean and in order? granted i do have to cook because i would end up doing it regardless.

as i did the dishes this morning, i found myself wondering why as a wife i think these things are my responsibility. to be fair, i almost never do dishes anymore. that chore has somehow morphed into being what ben does and i'm honestly very okay with that. but the rest of it? well, i somehow manage to make it my burden.

i made a list of all that i want to accomplish this week. and then i decided what things to give ben to do. out of a list of about 30 things, i think he has 7. why? why do i think it's fair to give him only 7 things to do, and burden myself with the other 30? we both work. we both get tired at the end of the day. we both live here and pay to live here.

i need to stop thinking it's somehow my responsibility and start leaving more to share with him.

what really ends up happening is i get so overwhelmed with all i think i have to do that i end up doing nothing, already so exhausted by just the thought of the list.

being a wife doesn't mean it's my job to clean or do anything else wives end up doing. it means i'm part of the team. so it's time to take some burden off of me and share a little. to be fair, this has nothing to do with ben and all to do with me. he doesn't notice when i skip out on things.

Showered.

This weekend we showered my best friend with love, laughter and gifts in celebration of her upcoming wedding. I feel so honored to not only have the privilege of standing up with her on her wedding day, but to have celebrated with her as she received so much kindness and was radiating with the bride-to-be glow.

I wish I had pictures to show her happiness and the happiness of all the wonderful women who were there. It was truly a beautiful day. I do not want to neglect to record these moments, pictures or no pictures.

Life is too precious to forget to cherish, pictures or not. Friends are too precious to neglect to thank them for their gift of their presence, love and support in our lives. If this blog is nothing else, I hope it is simply a demonstration of the joys of life.

For my best friend, who for over 15 years has walked through life with me and allowed me to walk with her. 


My husband did something so great this weekend. It is his story to tell, but I will just say I was so proud of him. I got teary as I watched him in that lake, doing something he has waited many years to do. As he dunked under the water I felt immense pride that I was there and I was lucky enough to be his wife. I honestly wanted to walk around saying "Do you see that young man? That happy, brave, thoughtful and kind man? I'm his wife. Isn't he awesome?"

Happy Monday.