i'm alone a lot. probably more than i have the treasured company of my husband.
he works a lot. sometimes, he comes home when i'm brushing my teeth to go to bed. i sleepily smile at him and say hello while i wash my face. i try so hard to stay awake to talk to him, and most of the time i'm successful.
i have a lot of time to clean our house, to pin silly pictures and to think. i spend so much time just simply thinking. so much time that i am completely baffled when he tells me that there's a lot of times where he's thinking "nothing". how does someone think nothing? but i appreciate that. i appreciate the ability to have a calm mind and just be.
in this thinking, i think about us. i think about him. i think about what he sees. how he feels. how lucky i am.
sometimes i wish i could see what he sees, and feel what he feels. to go back in time and relive all of our moments and see if i've missed anything. missed a look, a smile, the way he's so calm and happy. i would happily relive all of our good and our bad times, because in the end it means that even though it's 11pm on a wednesday and i'm climbing into bed and he's just coming home, at least he's home. and i'm his.
