21st century.

im going to make this short and sweet.

i am posting from my iPhone and i feel ready for 2012. silly, i know.

merry christmas.

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merry christmas, blogland. i'll be back mid-week next week with ideas for 2012 to get this blog better.

10 tuesday things.

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1. it's 3 days until friday. which means it's 3 days until i have a week off. finally.

2. my husband and i are going on a date tonight. i'm so excited.

3. we need said date because i basically didn't see him last week.

4. i'm really hoping the apartment we're going to look at soon works out. i really want to move and be closer to friends & family. i'm sick of our apartment and it's lack of windows.

5. days until christmas. isn't that crazy?

6. i have wrapped zero presents. i really need to get to work on that…

7. i went to get an iphone this weekend and they are on a 1 week back order. 7 days until i can hopefully get one!

8. i've found so many things i want to create, but i really can't do anything in this apartment. i need more room. when we move, i have a feeling i'll be creating up a storm.

9. i've made a list of all the furniture i want for our apartment. i need to win the lottery.

10. i'm starting to think about some goals for 2012. nothing is set in stone yet, and i don't like resolutions so we'll see where i end up with these goals.

12 days and favorite christmas things.

christmas tree scents. even though i'm allergic to the tree.

hot cocoa, especially with peppermint.

extra time with family and family.

the anticipation of joy on someone's face as they open a gift. to me, it's not about the gift at all, but knowing that they have something they love. i love to envision what the recipient will think when they open my gift.

classic christmas films. i love rudolph, santa claus is coming to town, and the year without a santa claus. the family stone is another great movie. i love it so much i watch it during the summer.

white christmas lights.

decorating the tree with ben.

recovery.

i'm starting to get back into a real routine over here after a very difficult week.

i will have a real post tomorrow, but i thought i would continue a spirit of thanks for today.

i am so blessed and so grateful to have such wonderful family and friends in my life. this past week they checked up on me, spent time with me, hugged me and loved me through a painful loss. i am feeling so full of love and so lucky.

taking a break.

while i deal with a personal loss, the blog will be on hiatus for the week.

next monday i will be back to posting!

creativity & failure

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as i start developing more of my creative side, the above statement is definitely what i struggle with the most. 

i have so many ideas and want to create so badly. but what ends up happening sometimes is that i'm so scared of it not coming out perfectly or not being something that people will enjoy or that will live up to my expectations, that the finished product is less than what i know i am capable of. 

the creativity doesn't shine through. 

i'm sure those of you who create can relate to this. 

we don't want to fail, but we need to learn to not care if we do. creativity is seriously risky business. i'm putting myself out there for the world to see in a creative outlet. all my emotions and abilities are out to be seen. there will be failure. i will mess up. 

but it's okay. 

failure is a part of the journey. i need to push through and allow the creativity to shine. 

ten things on thursday.

i'm more tired than i've been in a long time. i feel like i need to sleep all day long.

i watched you've got mail last night. what a great movie.

part of me wants our apartment to feel like christmas and it doesn't. 

the other part dislikes christmas hype, or hype of any kind and could do without all the stuff.

i really need to get brave and get the tattoo i've been wanting for years.

i really hope we find a new apartment soon. it's time to move.

i love mint chocolate chip cookies. i love that i made them with organic ingredients. 

i worry about money constantly even though we don't need to. i think even if i was a millionaire i'd be tight with our money.

my job still makes me so happy and teaches me so much. i'm so lucky. 

you should try spotify.